Hospice Stories from Our Community

There is a difficult season of life we rarely talk about. It’s the time after a life-limiting diagnosis, but before goodbye. A time marked by uncertainty, adjustment and the deep desire to make every day matter.
 

At Cowichan Hospice, we call it the days in between. Many families in our community are living through it right now. This is one of their stories. We’ll call them Dave and Susan.
 

The morning coffee





 

For more than forty years, Dave has been making the morning coffee. Susan always laughs that he never remembers exactly how she likes hers. Every morning they sit together before the day begins and talk about the little things: the weather, their grandchildren and what needs to be done around the house.
 

Life looks almost ordinary. The kettle whistles. The coffee pours. The dog waits by the door for his morning walk.
 

Since Susan’s diagnosis, the morning coffee has stayed the same. But everything else has changed. The calendar fills with appointments. Questions for doctors fill a notebook beside the phone. Dave finds himself waking in the night, listening to make sure Susan is okay.
 

Grief at the kitchen table
 

From the outside, nothing seems very different. But inside their home, everything has changed. Grief has quietly taken a seat at the kitchen table. Not the grief that comes after a death, but the grief that arrives while someone is still here, sharing coffee with us.
 

Dave feels it in the silence after a doctor’s appointment. He feels it as he lines Susan’s medications up on the counter, and as questions come to him in the middle of the night. Will tomorrow be a good day? Is she comfortable? Am I doing enough? How do I prepare for life without the person I love?
 

When friends ask how they’re doing, Dave says, “We’re managing.” It’s easier than explaining that he’s frightened and not sure he’s doing any of it right. And that, beneath all the caregiving, he misses simply being Susan’s husband.​​​​

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Someone to walk beside them
 

With your help, Cowichan Hospice will be there for Susan and Dave when they call. Dave will have support in his caregiving, so he doesn’t have to worry alone. A hospice volunteer will begin visiting regularly, listening, understanding and reassuring them that they don’t have to navigate this on their own.

As Susan’s illness progresses, there may come a time when caring for her at home is no longer possible and she is admitted to Cowichan Hospice House. There she’ll receive expert medical care and support focused on comfort, dignity and quality of life.
 

In Hospice House, Dave will finally stop watching the clock and timing Susan’s medications. Instead, he’ll hold her hand as they look through old family photographs. Their children will visit. Their grandchildren will climb onto the bed for one more story. And each morning, Dave will still make their coffee. Not because he has to, but because love is in the ordinary things.
 

When it’s time to say goodbye, Susan will die surrounded by the people she loves.